


i regret this (enough) as it is

by DoctorFitzy (KittooningMalijah)



Series: fluff alphabet challenge [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Grant Ward Feels, Grant Ward Redemption, Light Angst, Nightmares, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 2 Compliant, Sharing a Bed, the pod floated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 18:50:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19179298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittooningMalijah/pseuds/DoctorFitzy
Summary: SHIELD is a bit low on funds since the fall, which means smaller teams have to be sent out on field missions. And a lack of able bodied agents means that some of the paired up teams are a bit peculiar.





	i regret this (enough) as it is

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the fluff alphabet challenge on tumblr
> 
> B - bed sharing

For the most part, the mission itself had gone off without a hitch. They had the information they needed, and their minimalistic team, if it could really even be called such a thing, was safely hidden away in a tiny motel room. And that had been expected. Budgets weren't what they used to be, after all, after Hydra reared its head, so saving a little bit of money by sending out smaller teams and paying for smaller rooms on those missions only made sense.

What didn't make sense was for their motel room to have exactly one single sized bed.

"All I'm saying is that you can barely fit into the bed on your own, Ward, so I don't see how they expect us to make this arrangement work. I'm going down to the desk and having this fixed right away."

" _ Simmons _ ," The American accent came from right behind her moments before a heavy bag hit the floor. With the air between them so still in the beat of silence that followed, it was almost easy to forget that they were a team again. It was easier to remember the sight of his face through the multiple panes of glass while they were being ejected from the Bus and sent to their doom. "Relax. We'll sleep in shifts."

She stood taller without having to think about it, her shoulders set while she evenly met his gaze. So what if she was still a little wary around  _ Grant Ward _ ? That didn’t mean she wasn’t perfectly capable of taking care of herself in these... trying circumstances. “I’m not doing that. You can have the bed, and I’ll stay up until the extraction arrives.”

From where she was, Jemma watched his brown eyes roll up until they were partially under their lids, and then come back down to focus on her again. “I have already apologized and explained myself to you all a million times. Fitz isn’t even mad at me anymore.”

“Fitz wasn’t upset to begin with. He’s immensely forgiving like that. It’ll get him killed one day.” She shrugged her shoulders, moving to set her own bag between them before turning around. As far as she was concerned, her perch for the night would be the chair in the corner, which did look rather plush considering her complaints with the rest of the room. The single bed, the curtains that just barely covered the window, the desk that was far too small for anyone to consider it functional, just to name a few. “Goodnight, Agent Ward.”

* * *

The room was dark as soon as the sun went down, and it seemed as though neither the light attached to the ceiling nor the tall lamp poised by the chair were going to so much as flicker. Just from that information alone, Jemma was anxious enough to pace across the carpet in socked feet. 

“Simmons, please.” The voice was partially muffled by pillows and the mattress creaked with movement before Ward spoke again, clearer. “If you’re going to be shuffling around all night long, neither of us is gonna sleep.”

“Oh, deal with it.”

The next sound that broke the quiet was the almost scraping of the chair’s cushions sliding against each other. It was going to be a long night. 

“You might have a better chance of falling asleep than I will, you know.”

She looked over when he spoke, her eyes barely adjusted enough to the darkness to see the outline of his shoulders under the thin motel blanket. “And why do you think I could ever fall asleep in the same room as just you? I’d wake up with the bed in the ocean.”

His sigh broke through the quiet air, sheets ruffling together while he tried yet again to get into a more comfortable position. “At least you don’t have nightmares.”

Jemma scoffed at that, rolling her eyes while she slumped in the chair. “Sure. I don’t see the water every time I close my eyes. And I don’t wake up in the middle of the night thinking about what would have happened if the pod hadn’t floated. And I don’t check to make sure Fitz is still breathing whenever he falls asleep in my bunk. I have  _ plenty _ of nightmares, Agent Ward.”

Quiet hung between them for a long moment, the too still air making the near silence almost suffocating, and then.

“I’m sorry. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Better than shooting you, at least. I see where I could have been a little bit... misguided.”

Jemma scoffed again, louder, her accented words coming out short and harsh. “I think  _ misguided _ is a bit of an understatement, don’t you? We could have  _ died _ !”

“Well, if I had followed my orders and shot you, you would have died. Sorry if I thought giving you a chance for survival was better than the alternative.”

The silence fell between them again, the darkness making the lonely feeling in both of their chests only that much more intense. They were alone, really, required to trust each other in an unfamiliar space while there was danger around every corner. Field work was already pushing them to their limits again. 

Fabric slid against itself while Jemma got up out of the chair, quiet socked feet shuffling across carpet again toward the small, already overfilled bed. And then there was quiet again as soon as the sheets were tucked around them, both bodies barely staying safely in the edge of the mattress. 

“What are you doing?”

“The lights in this motel room don’t work and neither does the heat, Agent Ward. I’m simply employing basic survival techniques to keep from freezing to death.”

A beat of quiet. 

“Because it feels a lot like you’re cuddling me.”

“Shut up, Agent Ward.”

The quiet fell between them again, sheets pulling against their bodies and the edge of the mattress while they tried to find a more comfortable position. The bed was too small to accomplish much, but they managed, her back to his chest, bodies flush against each other in the tight space. It would do, temporarily.

In the end, she was the one to break through the silence with words, eyes still open but unable to find anything solid to focus on besides the curtain across the room. "What do you even have nightmares about? After everything you've done, what even bothers you anymore? You're so willing to send us to our deaths."

"You know how you have nightmares about drowning?" His voice was quiet and seemed too close in the darkness, but he didn't give her any time to respond before speaking up again. "I have nightmares about other people drowning. You guys. My brother. Sometimes, things happen differently, and I do shoot you both, and then I have to watch you die." The arm that had ended up around her waist tightened to hold her closer, his pounding heartbeat against her back somehow making it easier to relax despite what they were discussing. "And I can't do anything about it."

* * *

When the sun rose again, filtering through the thin, barely functional curtains, the thing that actually woke her from her slumber was a low, displeased groan from just behind her shoulder. With arms still wrapped around her to keep the space between them at a minimum - which was definitely so they would both stay on the tiny bed, or at least that's the excuse they would give if anyone were to question them about it - Grant Ward tried to hide his face in the fabric of her shirt. It likely wasn't doing much to help him get back to sleep, but she wasn't about to complain.

"Agent Ward?" Jemma kept her voice low, barely more than a whisper so that she wouldn't disturb the strange peace that had settled between them. "I think this is the first time since everything happened that I haven't had any nightmares..."

He was quiet for a long time, and she almost thought he'd fallen back into sleep until he moved. The arms around her seemed to relax, and the stiff sheets slid against each other even with the smallest movement. His voice was just as low as hers was when he finally spoke, the whispered words so close to her ear that she would have flinched had she not been so comfortable.

"Me, too."


End file.
